OVERCOMING BAD HABITS

 

 

Habits are written commands imprinted in the subconscious for him to follow.  And the subconscious likes them so much that he willingly and happily obeys each and every command.  Happily because your subconscious enjoys the act.  Usually this happens when the act reinforces his wants and desires.  Because the subconscious is stubborn, it is hard to break a bad habit.

 

What are some samples of bad habits?  They may be a sin or simply irritating habits which one cannot seem to do away with.  You can classify it into two:  inner directed or outer directed.

 

Inner directed bad habits like smoking, playing with oneself usually when one is adolescent, sleepiness, laziness, too much leisure like TV viewing, too much play like billiards, etc.  Excess is one aspect of bad habit.  Another is waste of time.   And the third is its being detrimental to one's health and strength.  And no matter how you resolve to get rid of the habit, it comes back like a thief in the night. That is why you have to be ever watchful and on guard all the time.  It could be sinful or not.  But it is most frustrating to overcome. It shows your inadequate Will Power.

 

Outer-directed habits usually are sinful because they affect other persons in a bad way.  Take, for example, arguing.  Nothing destroys the harmony in a group when there is someone who keeps disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing.  He has a bad habit of arguing for the sheer fun of demolishing the other person's arguments.  The poor fellow is outmaneuvered, outtalked, and out-reasoned.  And he gets angry.  So the result is not nice.  Another example is backbiting --- speaking ill of others when the fellow turns his back.   Again this destroys harmony in the group especially when one of the listeners reports and backbites on the original subject individual.

 

A more common example of outer directed bad habit is "tsismis" (gossip)   --- repeating and embellishing stories about other persons which tend to destroy the good reputation of individuals.  This is being impure in words.  This impurity in words is prevalent in the movie world, in the press, and among idle housewives.  The movie press is doing them to spice up their stories which are devoured by their idle readers hungry for each and every gory detail of very private affairs.  Thus another set of victims of the bad habit of wishing to know the very private incidents in other lives is born.  On the other hand, the idle housewives and maids pass on among themselves the current news of their neighbors' private movements and their suspicions.  In all these, you see the unchristian act of downgrading one's neighbor instead of elevating him, ridiculing instead of loving him.

 

The preceding examples are just some of the outer directed bad habits and there are more.  Your job is to pinpoint your bad habits one by one.  In the stillness of the night or in the refreshing silence of the early dawn, pause and meditate.  It is best you take a bath and do some light exercises that will not tire but quicken your blood circulation to fully awaken your conscious mind and to relegate the subconscious mind to the background.  Then sit down, pause, and pray to the Holy Spirit for enlightenment.  Or you pray an "Our Father" dedicated to your Guardian Angel and ask him to send you tips.  Your Guardian Angel by the way has ready access to your file in heaven, he being present when your spirit entered the newly born child seconds before you uttered the first cry of thanks to God for the chance to take the exam of life again.   Then pause and meditate.

 

What are your recurring bad habits?  Make a list, with two columns.  The first column is “Inner Directed Bad Habits” and the second column is “Outer Directed Bad Habits.”  The classification is necessary because they affect you in different ways.  The first group prevents you or hinders you from embarking higher on the path of material and spiritual perfection.  Whereas the latter not only hinders but pulls you down the ladder of spiritual perfection as they affect your neighbors in a negative way

 

Example of the first is smoking.  Although not a sin per se, it affects the body more in a destructive way rather than constructive.  Although it may soothe one's nerves, it also clogs the breathing system with nicotine.  In anyone, it is an unnatural way of relieving tension.   And besides it is habit forming that when one is deprived of it, his concentration is destroyed.  Thus, it is destructive.

 

But the worst is smoking marijuana as this is the road to the more potent weapon of the Left --- drugs.  If drugs were a cake, marijuana is the icing that will entice the beginner to taste the forbidden cake of slavery.  Slavery because when one partakes of it, he keeps repeating it; each take is reinforced, and the victim asks for more.

 

Now, to continue with overcoming bad habits, after listing down the inner directed bad habits, list down the outer directed bad habits.  What are some samples?    Did you speak ill of another, heightening his weaknesses and belittling his good points?

 

Did you entertain general animosity against your neighbor instead of loving him?  Did you spread lies?  Did you uselessly argue for the sake of argument and so produced enemies instead of friends?  In other words, did you affect your neighbor in a negative way instead of in a positive way?  List down the recurring acts of yours which are detrimental to your neighbors.   This list is what is preventing you from truly loving your neighbor.

 

As you can see, destructive criticism is the worst you can do.  This is negative thinking which prevents the improvement of one person.   Nothing so discourages an individual than the belief you can impart through your careless remarks.   So if you have nothing good to say, keep your mouth shut.  Order your subconscious to think only of positive things, of good things your neighbor can accomplish.   Order your subconscious to look for, to perceive only the good points of an individual.   As one expert on human relations put it, "Give the dog a good name."   The individual is challenged and will try to live up to it.

 

 Even in marriage, where your outer directed bad habits are first and foremost important in preserving the harmony and prolonging the bliss that God gives through the blessings of the priest for the couple to withstand the difficult road they will undertake with God's planned creation, the birth and rearing of children.  So it is important for you, as a married human being, to overcome your human tendency, your bad habit, your negative thinking of looking at your spouse through the eyeglass of imperfections.   Use the bright eyeglass of good points.  If your spouse has a project, encourage him/her instead of highlighting the reasons why it will fail.  Remember your spouse's success is your success.  The benefits of the projects will be shared equally among your family.

 

Remember your marriage vow of "to love and stick together through thick and thin, till death do us part."   Unless otherwise ordered by Divine Providence, this dictum holds.  It holds and should be followed.  But when after so much effort and reconciliation fails, then each one should pause and meditate in the stillness of the night or in the refreshing silence of the early dawn, and review his life.  The imminent break-up might be a punishment, a payment of karmic debts in one's previous lives or for both of them.  In their previous lives, they might have aggrieved their previous life partners and caused them pain.  Now the bitter pill is for each one of them to swallow.  In this case, then each morning pray an Our Father as payment of your Love debts and request your Guardian Angel to direct it to whomsoever you offended or oppressed in your previous life.  This is one way of avoiding a break-up.

 

Another and more obvious one is for each one to list down his inner and outer directed bad habits.  Exchange list and add if some are missing.  Then check the ones the other one can tolerate and put an "x" on the ones he cannot tolerate and therefore are non-negotiable.  Exchange notes again.  Then, first pray to the Holy Spirit and your Guardian Angel for guidance.  This is best done at sunrise on a Sunday when graces from heaven flow in abundance.  Discuss.  Make up.  Seal it with a kiss.  Thus, the reconciliation will be complete.  The timing is important as the spirit of Sunday will bring in the pranic energy that will recharge the dying embers of Love for each one.  It will also recolor the eyeglasses each one wears in looking at one another with the bright color of "positive thinking" so that what they will see are just the good points.

 

And they should pray together.  For the envious left spirits little by little patiently will recolor the eyeglasses with the dark color of "negative thinking" which will eventually sour up the relationship again.  The pranic energy earned through common prayer will prevent this.  Thus, both will see the good points, and like the "dog with a good name" will keep up to the good name, the good image. The man will avoid the lure of another woman.  The woman will not be tempted by the snakes in abundance in her circle of male friends.

 

So the message is clear.  For marriage to last, overcome you inner directed and outer directed bad habits which the other party cannot tolerate.  Better still; overcome all of them for your material and spiritual perfection.  It will not only improve your relationship with your spouse but also with your neighbors.  You will be more liked.  And you will in turn like them better.  And so Christ's order "Love thy neighbor" will be followed.

 

And for the marriage to blossom and have a good health, water it with pranic energy through common prayer, through going to mass at the same time with your children.  Although spiritual perfection is a personal search, it is better that you bring along a dear friend, a close friend, someone whose body and soul you caused to be united to accomplish God's sacred creation along the path --- your children.  In that way, when one of the family members stumbles, the others can offer a helping hand.   And God in heaven will like that and send His blessings that will further strengthen your family in the road ahead, as you bring along the children entrusted by Him to you onto the right path to heaven.

 

The effects of overcoming bad habits, inner and outer directed, and the subsequent looking at the good points of others through the eyeglass of "positive thinking” will be reflected in one's dealings with his neighbors.  As Love begets Love, he will serve as a magnet with friends and acquaintances unconsciously searching for his invigorating company.  No party is complete without his company.  No church meeting or prayer or Bible session is complete without his leading it.  He has served as a magnet attracting his neighbors that when he climbs the stairs of spiritual perfection, his neighbors follow him.  Leadership by example.

 

To summarize, each one of you has inner and outer directed bad habits.  Your job is to reduce them one by one to zero, starting with the non-negotiable bad habits until you eliminate all.  This is necessary for you to embark and reach the zenith of material and spiritual perfection.  Being envious is one of them.  So in a group, in any organization, each one should endeavor to banish envy from his heart.  Each of them should realize that the group's success is their individual success.  If one in the group fails, the whole group fails.  This group might be two in the early stages of marriage, then to three or more when children come, or very many as in a church congregation.  Each one should remove selfishness in one's heart, losing one's self-interest to the interest of the group.  In that way, he will learn how to Love oneself and eventually be one with his creator --- God.